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- August 24, 2009
By: Elisa Lala, The News Journal
Ready, meet and
listen
As parents meet all of the teachers, just plan to
absorb
With meet-the-teacher nights popping up all
over as schools start, it's marathon time again
for the parents and teachers of middle-school and high-school students who change classes many times in
a day.
Instead of the relative garden party of being able
to spend an hour or more with an elementary
school teacher, parents of older kids often have to sprint from 10-minute session to 10-minute session as they follow their
child's schedule.
Joe Manlove, a social studies teacher at A.I.
du Pont High School in Greenville going into his
sixth year, says he gets as little as eight minutes to describe his class to a group of about 30
parents.
"We don't really have time for parents to ask
questions about one specific kid," he says.
"Back-to-School Night is just to put a face to a name and hand out a
syllabus."
Paradoxically, much more is expected of
students in those grades, and parents may want to
know more than they did from teachers when the kids were younger.
What's a parent to do?
Listen, education experts and parent-teacher
officers say.
Don't try to focus the meeting on your child
and his needs or her problems. Say hello and make
a date to talk later, if you have personal concerns or needs. And plan to stay involved with the school and the child's
studies.
"Teachers have prepared this presentation of
the year and it's vital they give it," says
Cheryl Hagerty, co-president of the A.I. du Pont High School
Parent-Teacher-Student Association. Her
daughter, Cynthia, will be a freshman at A.I.
this year.
"It is also vital that we hear it," Hagerty
says.
The simple fact that a parent attends those
meetings is a good sign, education experts and
studies say.
A study by Child Trends Data Bank in 2003 found
that as children age, fewer
parents meet the teachers.
Findings showed a little more than 90 percent of students
in kindergarten through fifth grade had parents
who attended a meeting with their teachers, while 75 percent of middle school students, 59 percent of ninth- through
10th-grade students, and 53 percent of 11th-
through 12th-grade students had parents who had
done so.
"Half the battle is showing up," says Shannon
Griffin, public relations director at the
Delaware Parent Leadership Institute, which works to increase parents'
understanding of Delaware's education system and
the requirements of schools and
teachers.
Parental involvement is essential for kids to
do well in school, and Back-to-School Night is
the first step, Griffin says.
"Your part is to listen and the teachers should
be prepared to give you what you need as a
parent," Griffin says.
Over the last few weeks, Hagerty has been
reading several articles about adjusting to high
school, communicating with your child's teacher and parental involvement.
She agreed to be a PTSA co-president partly to
build a relationship with her daughter's school
before Cynthia even starts classes.
"Back-to-School Night can be overwhelming," she
agreed. "You only get 10 minutes with each
teacher and it's a lot of info."
Twenty years ago, talking to a teacher meant
phoning the office, leaving a message and setting
up a time to meet -- or sending notes back and forth through children, who often proved to be less-than-reliable delivery
personnel.
Today, many teachers have telephones in their
rooms. All of them have e-mail and most of them
make quick, good use of it. A lot of schools have Web sites through which parents can track homework, classwork and
grades. And meetings are easier to set up because
of all those tools.
Teachers and schools expect parents to have
concerns as their children climb the education
ladder.
"It's a huge transition from about seventh to
eighth grade for me, too," Hagerty says.
Her reading and experience have led her to two
key components in attending meet-the-teacher
events.
She takes notes. And she finds out the best way
to contact teachers, which is usually by phone or
e-mail.
She is among many who cringe when parents
interrupt the teacher or ask questions that
pertain to only their children.
"When parents ask nitty-gritty questions about
their child, others start to do the same, and you
can see the teacher gets overwhelmed and loses credibility," Hagerty says.
She suggests parents with concerns or needs let the
teacher know they'd like to meet later. The
teacher usually will be able to tell the parent exactly what process
the teacher would like to use to arrange
that.
Griffin says parents who have personal concerns
should spent the meeting jotting down their main
points -- and also use the time to find out what a school has to offer their children such as guidance counselors, activities
and volunteer opportunities.
Parents also should plan to stay involved, she
says, whether it's through the parent-teacher
association, or some other way.
In many ways, that's the ultimate point of
meet-the-teacher and open house events.
Kevin Palladinetti, principal of A.I. du Pont High
School, says they are simply a way for parents to
get acquainted with the school and to find out what they want to know.
"Nowadays parents get instant feedback on their
child's academic life, from grades to progress
reports and attendance on their computers," Palladinetti
says.
Parental interest can make a
difference, he says.
"I've seen students' lives changed because the
parent became a part of their school life,"
Palladinetti says. "Kids know when parents are involved and they can't cheat the system."
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